from July 10th, 2008 ...
Yesterday, my dad died! I am sooo hurt and stunned that I just don't know how or what to say about how I trully feel inside! Somtimes I feel hurt, sad, shock, confused, disappointment, anguish -- all rolled into one big pain. I never thought THAT DAY has come that I'd have to say good bye to a parent. It's bad enough that I just barely stopped crying over my grandmother, now I'm back on tear after tear having to say good bye to my father of 30 years.... Yes, 30 years that he's been married to my mom -- 2 grown kids, 29 and 26, or 30 and 27 in October and August. He has one other son that's 32 -- before our time. The whole time we've known him, it was never one ordeal after another, never any fighting in the streets, arguing with the neighbors, keeping up hell with the police, or any of that mess! It never even crossed my mind that I'd have to say good bye yet again to someone who's so compassionate and loving to all -- not just to his family. At times, I felt jealous that he'd spend a little more time at a friend's house, or just being out and about. But who am I to be so selfish and keep him to myself and hidden away from the rest of the world?! OR Who are we to stop him from being the person he is -- VERY Friendly, descent, and caring. He was a peaceful, fun-loving man who enjoyed a good laugh, wrestling, the show Las Vegas, trucks, football, and the 49ers! He will be missed and loved dearly!
To all my friends and family, thank you and keep us in your prayers!
Monday, September 21, 2009
What is Rain?
The rain in DFW and all over the world ...
Is rain when God cries? Is it something that comes from the trees? Does it come from heaven or from a place far, far away? Is rain something that the spirits do when they feel the pain we go through and they weep for us? Or, is rain something that we can't fully understand until we're on the other side? In a previous blog, I don't know how long ago, I think I talked about how beautiful my grandmother's room was in heaven... I just had a thought about how the walls looked as if they were frozen rain drops in the walls that looked like little diamonds. Personally, I believe that everything that comes from the sky, (the weather) comes from heaven! Where else can it come from? Don't ask me how I know, but I just have a hunch that what we see here on earth is only a taste of how great a treat we'll see, when we get on the other side, and make it to heaven. That's IF we're worthy and trully the "GOOD" person (people) God wants us to be! To me, I also believe that rain is apart of us all -- meaning the ups and the downs of the inner self, and the turmoil that ensues after a climax of emotion and spiritual stress is reached! Maybe, there's more to this rain stuff than we think... When we think of it, we should think of it as if its a perk of some sort to something that's greater on the other side to come... Nothing bad, but something good for us all!
Good Night All!
Is rain when God cries? Is it something that comes from the trees? Does it come from heaven or from a place far, far away? Is rain something that the spirits do when they feel the pain we go through and they weep for us? Or, is rain something that we can't fully understand until we're on the other side? In a previous blog, I don't know how long ago, I think I talked about how beautiful my grandmother's room was in heaven... I just had a thought about how the walls looked as if they were frozen rain drops in the walls that looked like little diamonds. Personally, I believe that everything that comes from the sky, (the weather) comes from heaven! Where else can it come from? Don't ask me how I know, but I just have a hunch that what we see here on earth is only a taste of how great a treat we'll see, when we get on the other side, and make it to heaven. That's IF we're worthy and trully the "GOOD" person (people) God wants us to be! To me, I also believe that rain is apart of us all -- meaning the ups and the downs of the inner self, and the turmoil that ensues after a climax of emotion and spiritual stress is reached! Maybe, there's more to this rain stuff than we think... When we think of it, we should think of it as if its a perk of some sort to something that's greater on the other side to come... Nothing bad, but something good for us all!
Good Night All!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
What Does it Mean if a Woman Out-lives her Male Companion?
It means fellas, that we don't take good care of ourselves as much as we should like women!!! A woman will get up in the morning and pamper herself all day if need-be in order for her to feel satisfied. If something is wrong with the service at that place where she got her nails done, you better believe she'll let those people in the nail salon have it!!! If she's not satisfied, then you won't be either -- Believe that fellas...! Why do we as men feel the need to hold things in and not express ourselves fully? Why is it that we as men cannot get our lives together and take care of ourselves better and really start being truly happy? As a man, I feel that I'm not always honest about how I really feel about the roads and avenues of my life. When shit goes wrong, I really feel that I don't have enough courage to follow though on my plans. I make excuses on how it'll all work out and how things shoulda or coulda been! Sometimes, I get so frustrated at how I shoulda said this and I shoulda said that, but if I was a woman, I woulda had the balls and the courage to say what I needed to get my point across effectively without compromise! Women have the ability to say, "NO!" And definately mean just that! MEN--- No means, "MAYBE..." It damn sure means maybe for me, or is it just that I'm a push-over...? I don't know! How is it that as a man, I can't really make the decision to say NO and trully mean it? Women have the power to do so, and to also cut you off completely -- NO takesey-backseys and shit! I Never wished that I wanted to be a woman -- because of the babies and periods and shit, but to say what you feel and not get attacked must be pretty nice! If I even think about saying the wrong thing around people, I'll get beat up and/or slapped silly! Sometimes, I think that as a man, its hard to really get your point across without coming to fist-fighting and ultimately going to jail, but HEY, as a man, I do have a backup plan... Is that a good thing or no?! Nope... If you say what you mean and mean what you say, you should definately LIVE with meaning and feeling, Not just by lies and compromising. It takes compromise to get through relationships, friendships, some businesses, and men in general. BUT, with the majority of women, compromise means that they'll get their way eventually -- one way or another! MEN, YOU KNOW THAT'S TRUE!!!! WOMEN -- DON'T THINK WE DON'T KNOW!!!!! MEN, we need to get together more with less fighting and bickering the way women do. They may hate each-other for a short time, but when they get together, they'll DOG US OUT!!!! That shit about not liking some random-ass, BITCH (as I was told) will go completely out the window when they (women) gang up on us MEN!!!!!!!!!! Women, don't be mad, but YOU ALL know its true! Y'all asses gang up on us and make us feel totally like shit, if we step out of line in any way! Don't think that its for long though, because when we get together, It'll be about just us and in the moment... From now on, Its about what I want and all about me, DAMN IT!!! I'm gonna spoil ME and do for myself and live longer than a woman will (hopefully) because I'm single, Good-looking, and a really nice guy thats just fed up with the HYPE! Women, we love you and men lets get ourselves together and be more like the woman, unbreakable, undeniable, strong, undying, and everlasting (in bed - sadly) and much more!!!!
If I'm forgetting something, please leave it in the comments...
Thanks folks!
If I'm forgetting something, please leave it in the comments...
Thanks folks!
Monday, September 14, 2009
The Truth About Love
...
If God is Love, then that means, the love we share with each other is more than just what we thought it could ever be! It means that God is in the relationship and is the bond between you and your loved ones. He is the reason why we all have someone special to love, whether is a family member, a friend, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or siblings. The Lord has them in your life for a reason and that reason is to experience "True Love!" Not just puppy love or even lust, but a chance to give someone your heart, and they give theirs in return. In that bond between the two of you, that is where God lies! Nothing in this world or the next is as strong as the power of love - the bond between us and GOD. That's why, when we have a loved one that's hurt or something's wrong with them, you hurt as well as they do! It's a shared experience, and is true love. A love that transends time, space, and the other side. Even if the loved one has passed on to the spirit-world, the love you shared with them never dies, it simply grows and gets shared with another entity -- namely someone else. Sometimes, we never really get over the loss of love for someone (break-ups and such), so we turn that love into a love for someone or something else that comes along, or that something/someone is already there in your life! If you have a person you truly love, you are more than willing to do anything for them, even if it means loosing your own well-being or your life. True love is unselfish, never-ending, supporting, unyielding, ever-faithful, and undying! Even if we may feel we don't deserve it, this kind of love is meant for us all!
If God is Love, then that means, the love we share with each other is more than just what we thought it could ever be! It means that God is in the relationship and is the bond between you and your loved ones. He is the reason why we all have someone special to love, whether is a family member, a friend, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, or siblings. The Lord has them in your life for a reason and that reason is to experience "True Love!" Not just puppy love or even lust, but a chance to give someone your heart, and they give theirs in return. In that bond between the two of you, that is where God lies! Nothing in this world or the next is as strong as the power of love - the bond between us and GOD. That's why, when we have a loved one that's hurt or something's wrong with them, you hurt as well as they do! It's a shared experience, and is true love. A love that transends time, space, and the other side. Even if the loved one has passed on to the spirit-world, the love you shared with them never dies, it simply grows and gets shared with another entity -- namely someone else. Sometimes, we never really get over the loss of love for someone (break-ups and such), so we turn that love into a love for someone or something else that comes along, or that something/someone is already there in your life! If you have a person you truly love, you are more than willing to do anything for them, even if it means loosing your own well-being or your life. True love is unselfish, never-ending, supporting, unyielding, ever-faithful, and undying! Even if we may feel we don't deserve it, this kind of love is meant for us all!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Out of the Past
The past haunts me! I've always believed that the past leads to a better future for myself and for my family. Sometimes, I see the figures and I think to myself, "Damn, I wonder what really happens when we die?" Are these figures of people that have past over and are now visiting me, or are these visitors of my past haunting me, trying to warn me of what's to come? Whatever the feelings I'm having, am I gonna be alright? Will my family recover from the loss of my father or will we have another tragedy strike us down and devastate us further? Sometimes, I get so wrapped up with seeing things that I can't see what's right in front of my face -- the real, everyday instances and situations that occur to us all everyday, every hour, every second, and every minute! If this is an oman of some dastardly devastating ass event, I'm not ready for it and in fact, I MAY NOT FULLY RECOVER FROM IT!!! I'm still not over the passing of my father and the passing of my grandmother years earlier. I still hurt and can't really bring myself to wake up and be where I'm supposed to be at times. Hell, I cry myself to sleep at night when I start to feel them around me. Why? Why does this happen to me? Who makes all these rules? Who says they had to die? Will we finally be alright? When can I stop feeling and hurting when I look at my door or out of my window? If time can only tell, HOW MUCH TIME? These and many other questions I have and must ask HIM (GOD)... Why the hurt and the pain, and when will it end? Our lives is not the same here without our loved ones and I can't imagine my life without them any further! Save us Lord... Please, save us from our damaged and broken past, and help us look for a brighter, better future.
AMEN
AMEN
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The Bond Between Family
Hello All,
From time to time, the bond between family members can be STRONG AS HELL! Depending on how close you are to your family... I have this bond with my mom, dad, and my sister. For years, I've always been able to feel them, or see things that they see and actually be sick when they are! Unfortunatley for me, the sick part is the part I HATE!!! When my mom or sister gets sick, all I have to do is walk in the house and I just feel like I'm nauseated. Yesterday, my sister was sick as hell and puking everywhere. I woke up and felt like I wanted to start puking too, ewwwwwww! I didn't have to hear her throwing up to know she was sick! I felt it in my stomach. I know this sounds totally silly, but I haven't seen my sister in months and now that she's around more, I felt positively sick when her stomach was hurting. As long as I can remember, we've had this bond between us... Even my dad came home one day and got sick from us! Now that I've grown up a bit, the bond is still there and going strong! I'm happy that I'm still close, but repulsed by the sickness that it caused me...
Nite folks!
From time to time, the bond between family members can be STRONG AS HELL! Depending on how close you are to your family... I have this bond with my mom, dad, and my sister. For years, I've always been able to feel them, or see things that they see and actually be sick when they are! Unfortunatley for me, the sick part is the part I HATE!!! When my mom or sister gets sick, all I have to do is walk in the house and I just feel like I'm nauseated. Yesterday, my sister was sick as hell and puking everywhere. I woke up and felt like I wanted to start puking too, ewwwwwww! I didn't have to hear her throwing up to know she was sick! I felt it in my stomach. I know this sounds totally silly, but I haven't seen my sister in months and now that she's around more, I felt positively sick when her stomach was hurting. As long as I can remember, we've had this bond between us... Even my dad came home one day and got sick from us! Now that I've grown up a bit, the bond is still there and going strong! I'm happy that I'm still close, but repulsed by the sickness that it caused me...
Nite folks!
Friday, September 4, 2009
Spirits Around Us
Hello All,
Do you ever wonder if your being watched or have that feeling of Not being alone in a room? Well guys and gals, you're NOT alone! Sometimes, its just your passed on family and friends checking up on you, or its just a local ghost or spirit. When I have that feeling, I know its someone that I love standing near and watching over me. They're around to guide us and keep us safe from danger. Most of us will have this feeling occur when our defenses are down. Meaning, when we are alone, just before you go to sleep, just before you aawaken, when your meditating, or when your in a relaxed state of mind -- basically. Don't be scared, they just want to help us along and check on us from time to time! Its their way of helping us out from the other side and letting us know that they are still around to love and guide us. If you ever need one of them, call out to them and you should feel their presence almost immediately! Let your mind go and lower your defenses, and they'll be somewhere close by...
but for now, Love and be Loved!
Do you ever wonder if your being watched or have that feeling of Not being alone in a room? Well guys and gals, you're NOT alone! Sometimes, its just your passed on family and friends checking up on you, or its just a local ghost or spirit. When I have that feeling, I know its someone that I love standing near and watching over me. They're around to guide us and keep us safe from danger. Most of us will have this feeling occur when our defenses are down. Meaning, when we are alone, just before you go to sleep, just before you aawaken, when your meditating, or when your in a relaxed state of mind -- basically. Don't be scared, they just want to help us along and check on us from time to time! Its their way of helping us out from the other side and letting us know that they are still around to love and guide us. If you ever need one of them, call out to them and you should feel their presence almost immediately! Let your mind go and lower your defenses, and they'll be somewhere close by...
but for now, Love and be Loved!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Truth about HELL !
Hell is a very real place and none of us can afford to go to there! I say this because I'm Scared of the Damn Dark and I DO NOT like getting burned! Literally, when I tell you, Hell is very real, BELIEVE IT! If you guys can't believe SHIT else I tell you, believe in that! I saw Hell... Years ago, one young and stupid little boy I was to believe that nothing phased me with all this spiritual crap and mumbo jumbo. I thought I was invinsible and that I'd always live forever. For me though, forever is a dream and reality is everyday. One night just as I began to awaken, I had a vision of HELL... I saw fire and darkness all around me as far as the eye can see. Everything was black -- So black, that I couldn't even see my own hand, and anything else around me, but the fire. The only light I saw was the fiery pits all around me, DEEP pits of fire with people trapped inside them. Everyone is screaming and crying out in pain, looking for a way out! In the darkness, their trapped, screaming, whaling in sorrow, and in agony, being devoured by the fire. Yes, Hell is a Very Real Place, and I cannot afford to be there! Can you?
A Divine Revelation of Hell
A Divine Revelation of Hell
Monday, August 31, 2009
The Little Girl Is Back
Hey All,
Earlier, I mentioned that I saw a little girl when I was about 10 years old in my room. Well, she kinda never left this house! I feel her around me sometimes watching and playing somewhere close by! To describe her, she's a young, brown-skinned, black girl, about 5'6, shoulder-length hair with little plats all over it. When she appears to me, sometimes I see her as just a shadow with really white, perfect teeth! In fact, this last time I saw her, she was in the doorway to my room, when I awoke to see her smiling at me. I wish she would tell me her name, but I guess she's not really ready to play with me anymore now that I'm older. Anyway, I'll check back with you all after I return to Texas.
P.S. I hope I get a chance to see my little friend before I leave!
Earlier, I mentioned that I saw a little girl when I was about 10 years old in my room. Well, she kinda never left this house! I feel her around me sometimes watching and playing somewhere close by! To describe her, she's a young, brown-skinned, black girl, about 5'6, shoulder-length hair with little plats all over it. When she appears to me, sometimes I see her as just a shadow with really white, perfect teeth! In fact, this last time I saw her, she was in the doorway to my room, when I awoke to see her smiling at me. I wish she would tell me her name, but I guess she's not really ready to play with me anymore now that I'm older. Anyway, I'll check back with you all after I return to Texas.
P.S. I hope I get a chance to see my little friend before I leave!
My Father's Accident
Hello All,
Months before my dad got sick and hospitalized, I had a very disturbing dream that he was in a car accident and died. In the dream, I saw my father in his truck, as usual, coming down the highway in a rain storm trying to make it back home. He was driving along and lost control of his truck in the storm. The truck spun out of control and turned upside down on him ... He was trapped inside the truck and buried in a large pool of water along the highway. All of my dreams and nightmares couldn't compare to watching my father buried in the pool of water with no one around to help him! Never in my wildest of dreams had I ever saw something so real and so intense until this dream! My dad was buried and I couldn't do A DAMN THING, but call out to him in shock! It was like someone was showing me this to help save him from this fate... As if, I was right there with him watching as the turn of events took place! The horror and the pain went on as I awakened screaming out, "LORD Save MY DADDY! Don't Take Him this Way.... Please Lord, Please Don't Take him!" After that cry out, I sat in my bed holding myself and crying harder than I ever cried before. It was SO real and so intense that I could reach out and touch the very waters that seemed to drown my dad. I was in total disbelief and in a state of shock when I found out from him months later that this had actually happened! He told me that the truck turned on its side and he jumped out just before it stared to turn over. I asked him how he got the truck back on its side and he told me that his friend dove into a huge pool of water where the truck was to find him! When he stood there, I can see that he had this look of AWE as he went on and on about how his friend, Bo, dove in to help him as he stood there by the water untouched! HELL, he was watching his friend jump in and look for him! That night, we looked at the truck and THANKED GOD that he was still here for us. My dad told me that he was forever greatful to his friend Bo for diving in after him! NO, I'm forever greatful the LORD who really heard my plea and didn't take him! Not until much later, but that's another story...
We Love Ya' Jerry!
Months before my dad got sick and hospitalized, I had a very disturbing dream that he was in a car accident and died. In the dream, I saw my father in his truck, as usual, coming down the highway in a rain storm trying to make it back home. He was driving along and lost control of his truck in the storm. The truck spun out of control and turned upside down on him ... He was trapped inside the truck and buried in a large pool of water along the highway. All of my dreams and nightmares couldn't compare to watching my father buried in the pool of water with no one around to help him! Never in my wildest of dreams had I ever saw something so real and so intense until this dream! My dad was buried and I couldn't do A DAMN THING, but call out to him in shock! It was like someone was showing me this to help save him from this fate... As if, I was right there with him watching as the turn of events took place! The horror and the pain went on as I awakened screaming out, "LORD Save MY DADDY! Don't Take Him this Way.... Please Lord, Please Don't Take him!" After that cry out, I sat in my bed holding myself and crying harder than I ever cried before. It was SO real and so intense that I could reach out and touch the very waters that seemed to drown my dad. I was in total disbelief and in a state of shock when I found out from him months later that this had actually happened! He told me that the truck turned on its side and he jumped out just before it stared to turn over. I asked him how he got the truck back on its side and he told me that his friend dove into a huge pool of water where the truck was to find him! When he stood there, I can see that he had this look of AWE as he went on and on about how his friend, Bo, dove in to help him as he stood there by the water untouched! HELL, he was watching his friend jump in and look for him! That night, we looked at the truck and THANKED GOD that he was still here for us. My dad told me that he was forever greatful to his friend Bo for diving in after him! NO, I'm forever greatful the LORD who really heard my plea and didn't take him! Not until much later, but that's another story...
We Love Ya' Jerry!
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