Out of the Past

The past haunts me! I've always believed that the past leads to a better future for myself and for my family. Sometimes, I see the figures and I think to myself, "Damn, I wonder what really happens when we die?" Are these figures of people that have past over and are now visiting me, or are these visitors of my past haunting me, trying to warn me of what's to come? Whatever the feelings I'm having, am I gonna be alright? Will my family recover from the loss of my father or will we have another tragedy strike us down and devastate us further? Sometimes, I get so wrapped up with seeing things that I can't see what's right in front of my face -- the real, everyday instances and situations that occur to us all everyday, every hour, every second, and every minute! If this is an oman of some dastardly devastating ass event, I'm not ready for it and in fact, I MAY NOT FULLY RECOVER FROM IT!!! I'm still not over the passing of my father and the passing of my grandmother years earlier. I still hurt and can't really bring myself to wake up and be where I'm supposed to be at times. Hell, I cry myself to sleep at night when I start to feel them around me. Why? Why does this happen to me? Who makes all these rules? Who says they had to die? Will we finally be alright? When can I stop feeling and hurting when I look at my door or out of my window? If time can only tell, HOW MUCH TIME? These and many other questions I have and must ask HIM (GOD)... Why the hurt and the pain, and when will it end? Our lives is not the same here without our loved ones and I can't imagine my life without them any further! Save us Lord... Please, save us from our damaged and broken past, and help us look for a brighter, better future.

AMEN