The Curse of Knowing

To know that something's about to happen is NOT what it's cracked up to be! For years now, I've been able to see and feel different things with my "THIRD EYE," as they say, but nothing on this earth and the next, could have prepared me for the death of my father, or the death of my grandmother.

First, with my grandmother, I believe that it was Christmas Eve-night and Christmas day, 2002... I kept feeling like something was wrong, missing, or out-of-place somehow. I just couldn't put my finger on it! Nothing was missing when I went out to stores and such, but this overwhelming feeling kept coming over me, that something is JUST WRONG somewhere and somehow! Now, in a previous blog, or a very soon-to-be blog, I mentioned that I was visited by a spirit at the beginning of January 2002. The spirit told me in a dream, of my grandma and me of course, that I didn't have much longer with her... Scared and in a panic from the dream, I awakened and called my grandma to check on her. I, NOT knowing how much time she actually had left, would be shocked to know that she'll be passing over to the other side on Christmas night of that year. I felt something was wrong the whole time, but what could I actually do?

Now with my dad, I had strong feelings of hurt and sadness before he died. As with my grandmother and now again with my father, I feel as though I was warned yet again about him passing, or going to pass! In a previous blog, I mentioned that I had an aweful dream that my dad had a terrible accident and actually died! I awakened screaming and crying about it! Later on, maybe the following year, my dad had a heart-attack... Yet, another warning for me! He didn't die with his heart-attack or the several mini-strokes that followed, but I thought that everything was okay until later on that night. I started to have those feelings of something's out-of-place and not quite right again! Nine months passed by, I ignored my feelings and looked forward to having my dad back home. As we watched my father progress and grow into a new man, That dreadful day came. My dad passed out in the mall, and days later, he died in the hospital!

There are so many times that I wished I could've spent more time with my dad and my grandma. The fact is, I need them more than any of you can ever imagine! To see and to trully feel what's really going on in the world is just what it is -- Painful!

Love and blessings to you all...