A Reminder Of What Love Is

Today is a bad day! I just got through watching Nanny McPhee 2, when the tears started to flow as I watched the kid's father return at the end of the movie! Out of nowhere, BOOM!!!!! Here comes the tears... I knew it was coming again, eventually, because I haven't let it out in awhile, nor have I really relaxed and had a great time anywhere... Plus, to add insult to injury, today is a Sunday! Every Sunday, my dad had a routine that he did every morning and every evening -- those things never go away for me! For so long, I've been there to see, hear, feel what it's like to have him around and trully be there for me -- US (mom, sis, and me). Right now, No real words can honestly say how much I really miss and need him here... Not only for my own self, but for my mom, so she won't be alone! As I talk with my mom, I can tell if she misses him and wants him back home. She said to me the other day, "I don't know why Jerry died and left me alone..." I wanted to die, period - end of story! To hear her say that, and to even feel her words like that, from over the phone was more that I could bare! I almost broke-down right there on the phone with her... Just lose it for once and not be so stern... Her words were so deep, and meant so much, that they broke me down just that fast! Damn, I tried to be over his death and keep myself busy, but once the busy-ness stops, what do I have next? I feel as though part of me is missing and can't be replaced, and no matter how hard you look for it, it's nowhere to be found again! Bless us all Lord, to see our Lost-Loved-Ones again...
I want him to know that we trully miss, and love him with all of our hearts! Thank you Lord, again for blessing us with him.


Ken